Mr. Fix It

Watch out ladies, it turns out that I’m a handyman. It’s been fun to recycle as much stuff as possible, and I wanted to share some of my proudest achievements with my loyal readers (besides hooking up an electric shower without killing myself, that is).

I would like to start off the presentation by showcasing my pencil holder. I think that the silver of the duct tape provides a nice contrast to the brown color of the the toilet paper cylinder. I think that it gives an industrial feel to my old-school desk.

Next up we have a dual-use item. It’s an incense holder and piggy bank. I used duct tape and an empty matchbook for the incense stand, and the lid to a chess set as the receptacle. And for you OCD people (hi Sofia!) I would like to point out that all the piles of coins on the right are in multiples of 25 cents—convenient for grabbing exact change for bus rides.

Now for the curtains that I recently installed. The towel is the flimsiest one that I’ve ever seen (it falls apart onto your skin as you try to dry yourself), so I decided to put it to a better use—greeting my visitors. I used 2 nails that I found laying around and some of the metal wire that people here use to dry their clothes on. I wasn’t sure how to knot the twine that allows the towel to slide along the metal, and then I remembered that Dustin had sent me a handbook of knots and splices (possibly the most random thing ever), so I went with the “sheet bend,” because I liked how the picture looked.

Here’s another picture to illustrate the sliding action and how the curtain looks when closed.

And last but not least, we have the mosquito nets that I installed on the windows, mostly so that the stupidest creatures on earth (moths) don’t stumble in on me. It also keeps out all sorts of bugs that I used to have problems with. I tend to read books just before bed with my headlamp on. Imagine how fun it is when an insect decides to fly directly towards the light. It’s like getting divebombed every minute or so.

To do this, I cut up the mosquito net that I was issued and bought a bunch of small nails.

On the subject of moths: around here both moths and butterflies are referred to as mariposas, which messes with my head. Also, crickets are “grillos,” grasshoppers are “saltamontes” (which literally means grass hopper). And there’s an especially huge type of grasshopper (about 6 inches long) that is referred to as a “langosta.” That’s right, it’s called a lobster. I will try to get a picture.

How do I know what the lobster looks like? In 3rd grade, there was a little girl who wasn’t paying attention. In particular, she kept looking down into her lap. I walked up to her and asked her “what is so interesting that it draws your attention away from class?”—and then I saw it! And holy crap, it was really cool! I wasn’t even annoyed any more. I stopped what I was doing, stared at it for a while (she had put it in an empty coke bottle), and then taught the class how to say “grasshopper” in English. The 3rd grade teacher just laughed.

That’s all I had to say. Thanks for tuning in and sorry for the digression.